/Sunday 05.10.2025 03.30/

A late and lonely night

A lonely sunday night
As any other
With that sting in my eyes
And on my arms
That familiar itch
So tempting, so alluring
It's been so long since I've given in
"Maybe I should..."
I whisper to myself
It always felt so good

I know I want it
I need it
I need that burn on my arms
I need to sooth it
I need to release those crimson beads
And that oh so beatiful sting

I know I need it
But...Will I give in?
I know that I shouldn't
It's not healthy for me
But what else will ease my pain?
What else will distract me from my real suffering?
I only know to ease my pain with more of it

/Thursday 21.08.2025 02.49/

God, how I wish I'd have someone to cuddle with. Someone I call at random times just beause I want to hear their voice. Someone who will do their thing while I lose myself in their arms. Someone who rambles on and on to me about something they like, while I listen quietly. Someone who will hold my hand and run their thumb over the back of it. Someone who will gently comfort me when I'm overwhelmed and have a meltdown. Someone I can me my honest self around, and someone who can be their honest self around me.

/Monday 18.08.2025 19.35/

Another day, another 13h spend on figuring out why the fuck the code that worked just a second ago suddenly decides to break to whole website only to then find out you forgot a single character... Still had fun though. I have an audio player now! How can't I be having fun? Although now I have to decide whether or not to add one for the past songs of the week. And If, do I have one that plays all songs, like a playlist, or one for each song? One for all probably makes more sense. I first have to figure out how to do that. But that's a problem for future me. As tempted as I am to do it now, and as much as I want to do it now, I belive I'll leave that to tomorrows me. Or overmorrows me, because tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend so I won't have much time. And even if, I most definetly would and will not drag my brick of a laptop to our sleepover.

/Sunday 17.08.2025 21.30/

I most definetly did not spent literally over 13 hours straight building this website. No, no... why would I do such a stupid thing?
...I didn't sleep. Granted, It's not that doing this is the reason i didn't sleep. After all, I only started this today at 08.00... and I practically didn't take any breaks. I did go have dinner with my family and I also looked at alot of sites of others, but really all I did today had to do with this site in some form.
I couldn't help myself! One moment I start with this and the next thing I know, the whole day is over because my 'tism brain decided it needed a new hyperfixation. Am I mad about it? ...Eh, wouldn't say so. I had fun. It's better than scrolling aimlessly through my youtube recommandations... Which arguably I do way to much. God, I'm rambling. Oh, well. Not like anyone will mind, or could stop me if they did. no one's seeing this anyway.